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Jamie Tichborne

Quarry Lore: Man Lands On The Moon


The Moon?
The Moon?

The year is 1969. The USA is engaged in a space race with Russia in an attempt to see which of the two superpowers has the most power. Why? The answer is obvious, of course. Both want to prove they have the technology, and the balls, to create the superior music venue.


The 1960’s were a time of great musical change. Rock and roll really was here to stay, it had turned out, and now the race was on. The older generations will remember the 1960’s as a time of ‘Quarry-mania’. It was hard to step foot outside without hearing the screams of young women, all desperate to be let into the venue or catch even a glimpse of the staff. I can remember fondly seeing Chrissy being shoved into a limousine by security guards whilst hoards of women pounced on him like jungle cats.


Why? Well, for starters, Quarry was a music venue in Liverpool. The Beatles were pretty much the house band for them at this point and there were almost no competitors. People would flock from all across the country to see them play inside Quarry. You only need to watch the Disney Plus documentary ‘Get Back’, in which the Beatles record some of their seminal work in the Quarry recording space over the course of multiple weeks, only to be followed by the infamous ‘Quarry Garden Set’, to see the importance this venue had on the Beatles uprising and popularity.


Quarry-Mania
Quarry-Mania

So how does this link with man stepping foot on the moon? Well, towards the end of the 60’s the Beatles were almost ready to split and Quarry was getting ready to define the next decade in the only way they knew how: By building a really big spaceship.


This was a project Jack had been working on in his spare time anyway. Over the years he’d been sourcing parts from various black markets across the UK, whilst sending Pauline across the water to Europe for more specialist parts. Call it a passion project. As soon as NASA got wind of this though, it was obvious what would happen. Before he had even arrived at Quarry for the first time, it is said that Neil Armstrong had spotted the top of the rocket poking out of the smoking area from the Merseyrail. He was apparently so excited that he ran all the way from Moorfields to the venue, repeating under his breath: “They’ve got a big rocket! They’ve got a very big rocket!”


After nailing about 9 or 10 pints of the Black Lodge pale ale they had on tap, he finally went out to see the gargantuan spaceship himself. It was only when looking at it for the first time that he realised how pivotal Quarry was going to be in the ongoing geo-political mind games between Russia and the USA.


The Quarry owners and the bar staff at the time were immediately invited to NASA headquarters, offered knighthoods, and received complimentary NASA hoodies (unintentionally starting a much later fashion trend in the process). Quarry was then informed of the true reason that the Americans were so intent on building a spaceship to travel to the moon. They were told that America had entered into an agreement with Russia that whoever could build the best spaceship, and therefore have the best technology to build the best music venue, a venue to house the next 10 decades of rock stars, a venue that could house the Rolling Stones corporeal forms for the next 4000 years, that whoever could build that venue, would win. They shook hands on it and did the thing where you spit on your hand first and everything.


Mick Jagger outside Quarry before a gig
Mick Jagger outside Quarry before a gig

With their own shuttle, Apollo 11, lacking, they decided to use the Spaceship that had been built in the Quarry smoking area. Why bore you with the details? It was a roaring success! Out of a crew of 19 on board the shuttle, three landed on the moon unscathed (rest = dead), and no one could deny that NASA had made the right decision. No one was going to complain about the faulty space suits (sulphur instead of oxygen). No one gave a shit about the left wing of the rocket falling off and rolling gracefully into the orbit of Earth, gently gaining speed for the next few hundred years until, scientists predict, it will fall back into the atmosphere, hurtling towards Earth, obliterating Spain in the process. And certainly no one was bothered when 8 of the brave 19 were made to fight each other to the death in a tournament set up by the other crew members due to boredom on the lengthy flight (8 days).


Spaceships are very difficult to make! No one was pissed off about a few hiccups!


So with three of the crew remaining, Jack, Pauline and Chrissy were the first people to step foot on the moon. They now legally own the moon, and when NASA lifts the ban on space travel for hospitality staff, I'm sure we’re likely to see a second Quarry venue in a lunar crater. America had now beaten Russia and were given the go ahead to create the world’s greatest music venue. It was also proven possible with space travel that building this venue was possible. NASA then donated every piece of technology it owned to Quarry, which is why when you go into Quarry today the sound system is so good.


And there you have it! Another little tidbit of the fascinating history of Quarry! If you have any queries about metaphysics, space travel and the mysteries of the universe, feel free to ask Aidan Shard on the bar! Ask a good question and he’ll give you a free tour of the underground labs, letting you have a cheeky peek at the ongoing experiments beneath Quarry, including their attempts to clone the Atlantic Ocean!


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